User blogs


Hiya Katie, I’m gobsmacked, something good happened and I wanted to tell you.

Hope I’m your first Spain success.

I’m a bit of a Shirley Valentine – that dates me doesn’t it. Came to Spain on a ‘break’ meaning a break from my marriage, for a couple of months and stayed a couple of years and more now.

Things weren’t going well back home and after lots of rows and hard words my hubby agreed it was better to take time out for awhile. I work in the travel business so it was dead easy to get a summer job on the Costa, he stayed back home, working.

Spain was a dream for me. After years of slogging away in the north of England I was finally in the sun, loving my job and free. I didn’t look back for one second. I had such fun, once work was over I hit the high spots and there was never any shortage of company. Discos, late night bars, street music, parties. It was another world and I wasn’t going to leave it ever. My other half didn’t hang about either. He rang and said don’t come back, ‘i’m settled with Sheila’. My hairdresser and ‘friend’ (not any more she’s not) had moved in and he was wanting a divorce. It took me nearly a year to get my share but it was worth it and I bought the apartment I’d been renting.

I had any number of boyfriends, most of it was good, one or two weren’t but I never had a moment regret. Then i fell for Jim. That was it for me and we both lived in Spain so getting together was a doddle. I was with my man for life. Or so i thought. I was ok financially, never going to be rich but I was good with money and worked hard. He wasn’t. He’d spend it like there was no tomorrow. Long and short of it that he fleeced me good and proper then scarpered.

That put a stop to my romances. I’d lost the joy of it and needed to get back to work. I went back to Birmingham working my socks off and letting my place out to pay off the debts. I finally moved back in 2014. This time I kept it slow and my age was going against me anyway so I didn’t go out so much, just saw friends and was a lot quieter.

When I spotted your new dating site in Spain I wasn’t going to join, but I got curious. There’s a bit of a naughtiness in me and something set it off. So I joined up and jumped in, even after swearing I never would. There weren’t a great many people on to start with but it soon got going and I was chatting away with a few men. Then I spotted a new chap and something went click with me.

And he wrote me first. Just as i was typing a message, I got one from him. Well we were up after midnight writing messages and chatting. Next day he’d already left 3 messages and smileys and his phone number. I tried to slow down a bit. I’d been bitten once and you just never know with these online things. Anyway, i laid off a while and he went a bit frantic till I told him to give me some time.

I waited all of 2 days! I never was one for holding back, in with 2 feet me. Now we’re making plans for christmas and next year and it might be early days but it feels right and I think it’s going to work. He’s a saver, like me, but he’s generous and kind with it. I’ll keep you posted, but I think i’m on a winner here. So good luck to you and your site and thanks for doing it. Could be the best thing that’s happened to me in a long time.

wishing you well, cheers, Chrissy. xx


Heartbreak – We risk it whenever we offer our love.

So why do things go wrong when we so want them to go right?

The main problems come from within oneself. That’s sometimes hard to accept, but once you do accept it, it gives you more control. Feeling helpless and at the mercy of someone else is just one of the awful aspects of breaking up.

Try to step back and assess your actions from someone else’s stand point.

Ask yourself questions.

Was this the right person for me? Seriously answer that question. Lonely people are vulnerable, sometimes we find someone and pour all of our love, devotion, kindness, warmth onto to the object of our love. And I mean object, rather than person.

A close friend, Frieda ( not her real name) fell for an amazing guy. He was good-looking athletic, fun, clever. In her eyes he was perfect and she would and did do anything for him. At first he adored her, but over time he treated her more and more badly. He wasn’t a bad guy but he felt let down by her. Frieda was a strong, attractive, feisty woman and that’s who he fell in love with. He wasn’t looking for a doormat, ever ready to slavishly do anything, accept any treatment, beg if necessary. In the end, he didn’t respect her. Why would any man want that and if he does, believe me, you really don’t want to be with him.

Was there any chance for Frieda to save her relationship?

Maybe, if she could stop her doormat behaviour and just be herself again. She needed to get angry, not with him but with herself. Then she needed to break away for a while and allow the relationship to reset to a different balance. A real relationship – where they were 2 individuals, both with needs, both with desires, both with a say in what they each wanted. Not master and slave.

So Frieda  broke with him – they had already broken up a few times – but rather than run begging to him again, she actually got her control back and stayed away. He didn’t contact her, which she hoped would happen after a couple of weeks apart. Previously she had contacted him after a few days, but this time she didn’t, so the old pattern was broken. She waited another week and was becoming terribly depressed. Checking her phone obsessively and driving by places she knew he went. It was tortuous psychologically, her whole being was focused on this man, it was all she talked about, she wasn’t sleeping. She put herself through hell. And all this for a guy who had no respect for her.

She was close to cracking. I am a very sympathetic friend but told her not to be so damn stupid. Harsh words, but it was enough to stop her from running after him again.

She was slowly beginning to accept that her tactic was not going to work. That they really were split up for good and it was over. Her behaviour became more erratic. Bouncing from solitary depression to hitting the party scene too hard. One morning at the cafe, nursing a  hangover she brushed against a guy and knocked his coffee out of his hand. She apologised, a bit blurry eyed she then forgot him. But he was entranced. He wanted to buy her coffee. She said no. He asked her name, she told him she wasn’t interested. Next time he saw her, he said hi, offered his name, wanted her number. It took him a week to get her to talk to him.

This time she did everything right. She let him chase, she was distant at first, she was herself, well a bit grumpier than her usual self. She was still focused on her ex, so this new guy had a lot of running to get her to notice him.

Another week went by and Frieda began to realise Mark, her new admirer, was actually quite nice, even attractive. And he treated her well.

Rather than return to her old pattern of behaviour, she held back. She treated him like a man, not an idol. It worked. She saw it working and became confident, funny, her real self and Mark adored her.

Then her ex called. He’d finally figured that maybe she wasn’t going to come running this time. He said he loved her. He wanted her back – he wanted the real Frieda back, not the slave. He was an intelligent guy, he had reflected and could see the problems Frieda had brought to the relationship and where he had gone wrong in allowing it to happen. He wanted to overcome their problems and make it work.

Now Frieda had 2 guys in love with her, all because she’d learned the importance of not over-giving herself. This is such an important lesson to learn because many of us do it. Whatever the cause of it, loneliness, lack of confidence, fear, desperation, whatever. It is damaging and hinders the very outcome we long for.

Frieda chose  Mark. She didn’t find it hard to choose. There were bad memories with her ex. She had behaved poorly and he had let her. He accepted her when she came back grovelling and begging. He had no respect for her because of her behaviour, but he had allowed it to happen. That was a bit too much like enjoying his position of mastery.

He was devastated when Frieda turned him down. So much so that he moved town and jobs because he couldn’t bear it. I heard that after a year or so he had found someone new, but that relationship was becoming like the one he’d had with Frieda. He too needs to recognise his own poor patterns of behaviour.

Reflection and looking at yourself as you would someone else, can help you figure out where you are causing problems for yourself.

If you are the problem then you are the solution. Try to remember that.

My experience in life has been a rocky road. Divorced, married, widowed, remarried. I tend to be long-term and so have had few relationships, but all of them intense. I have had huge amounts of experience as a shoulder to cry on though. I’ve seen so many friends enter into and fallen out of relationships and tried to help where I could. This was just one example of where things went wrong and why.


Some people just breeze onto the site, put up a few pics, connect with their chosen one and 'bang' they're off, hand in hand into the sunset.

But it isn't always that easy! It was 4 very long years before I got together with my partner for life and many of us know what it's like being alone for a long time.

It's not for want to trying either, somehow the right the right person isn't around or we just haven't got the hang of dating.

First thing to realise is that it's not really dating, it's communication we need to think about. The dates come once you've opened up and got connected.

Here's 10 simple steps to make connecting easier.

1. Photos are the key.

Your profile photo is the fist thing anyone is going to see. Do yourself a huge favour and put up a good one. I don't mean you need to look like a film star, you need to look like you. It should be a reflection of who you are.
If you're a glam puss, show it off.
If you're a country lover, get your tweeds out.
If you're  sporty type, put your skis on.
What ever!
Go through your photo albums, pick out a clear photo of your self and put it up. If you are a bit unsure, ask someone, us if you like - we are always happy to help.

TIP - some camera photos are big files, over 5 MGs sometimes. Make life easy and screen shot your favourite photos, this reduces the size easily and they will upload much faster. If you are unsure how to screen shot, search google on 'how to take a screen shot' for your device. It is one of the easiest and most useful functions you will learn!

2.Your profile page - 'About me'.

What interests you? What do you like to read about people you are interested in?

Ask yourself these questions and then think about the answers.

The answers are what you will write on your profile page.

Where do you live?

Why are you single?

Star sign - if it means something to you, put it up.



Location - Why are you where you are?

Are you a travel hound - so where are your favourite destinations?

Sporty - What do you enjoy?

Working - What do you do?

Mention all those that relate to you and then add some. If you have a great sense of humour, say so, tell a joke!

People who look at your profile page want to know about you, so do them a favour and help them out....

3.'About the person I would like to meet.'

Well this is over to you!

Generally it is best to leave this to age range, interests and a friendly note, such as 'would love to find music lover to share a night at the opera', or I'm a great cook, fancy swapping recipes?'.

Try not to be overly ambitious. 'Energetic 69 year old seeking 20 something play bunny' isn't going to work. (Well maybe it will, but it rather narrows your choices!)

Be realistic here and above all - be positive. Negative will dampen your chances faster than anything else.

4. Keep your profile fresh.

When you join and fill in your profile page, don't think 'well that's done with now'.

Every so often go back over your page and freshen it up. Add to it, edit it, change your profile pic sometimes.

Just do it when you feel like it, it's not a weekly chore. But it will make a difference because it adds another dimension of who you are.

5. Show who 'you' are.

Your profile page is a bit like the front of your house. Make it look great because it really does reflect a lot about who you are.
 But there is more to you than that.

You have a sense of humour. Show it!

Write up a joke under 'what's happening', put up a funny photo on your wall, share your favourite books and films by recommending them, mention plays or concerts you've been to, with snaps of the event.

If you are artistic - upload pics of your at work, your beautiful garden, your landscape photos, your carefully crafted woodwork, your renovated house.

Whatever appeals to you, put it up. And keep on putting things up. Feed through photos, jokes, funnies, comments, whatever, when you are in the mood.

Let the real you emerge, show your different facets and treat it like the 'dance of the seven veils' - reveal yourself over time and have fun doing it.

6. K.I.S.S.

Getting in touch - how scary is that!!

Up till now it's all been putting your best foot forward. Now you've got to get connected - after all that's what it's really about. has been designed to keep it as easy as we can. It's also free to get connected. This gives you the chance to test things out and get in touch without having it costing you anything.

Start off with these free and simple steps.



Fire off an emoticon

Search - can be as wide or narrow as you decide. Use quick search on Dashboard for a search by location.
Or - to see everyone, just put in your gender and the gender you are looking for and press 'search'. This brings up everyone of the chosen gender on the site. You will need to be patient though, there are hundreds to scroll through.

Bookmark - when you find one or more members you like the look of, bookmark them to easily find them again on your Dashboard page. You can bookmark someone by going onto their profile page, clicking on 'more' and then 'bookmark'.

Follow - follow those you admire. Every time they put up a photo, make a comment or refine their profile page, you will see it in your Newsfeed on your Dashboard page. They will not know you are following them unless you tell them.
Most people are being followed by someone, so give your fans something to see - put up photos, make comments and spruce up your profile page!

Say Hola - Hola is an ice breaker. A nice greeting to someone you like. They will receive a notification that you have said Bonjour. Once accepted, you will both be connected and once subscribed, you will both be able to chat and send and receive messages.

Send an emoticon - Emoticons are always free. You can send one to the person of your choice by going to their profile, clicking on 'more' and opting for 'send emoticon'. There are lots to choose from and we are always adding more. They are a great way to send a little note!

7. Communicating

And now for the exciting bit...talking to other people! Having checked everyone out and decided to make an approach, what to say?

Their profile is always a good starting point.
If you both love boats and hill walking you will already have things in common.
Pets, holiday destinations you've visited, where you grew up....all easy going, simple conversational points.

Having opened a conversation, don't think that you must indulge in witty banter or philosophy or the hot topics of the day. We're older and not much wiser. Second time around is different, now we've got baggage, children, debts and most of our conversations are with the dog.

So just be you, be honest about your life, don't be negative about things or other people or your ex; it's a major turn off. Just chat and let things roll gradually along. It's not a competition, no one minds and if someone does then it’s unlikely they're a good match for you anyway. Most people talk about their everyday lives and if not, then their views on life, love and the latest TV series.

It is fun to get to know someone new, treat it like that and it will flow much more easily.

And yes, we do charge for this - we are deeply sorry, but we have to eat! We are the cheapest  site in Spain, starting from only 5euro a month. We are the best value around, so take advantage and get the cheapest option for the longest time. It's economic, it's less stressful and gives you loads of time to find your dream.

8. Now what?

Well - are you ready to meet? In person? Really? Did you do all that stuff above already?


Let me ask...did you skype or video chat?

It's important for many reasons and you'd be amazed how many people don't do it and get a major shock when they meet up first time.

I had such a fun time once, messaging and chatting with a great guy and he wanted to leap in the car for a 3 hour trip and come visit me within a week of starting to chat. I was all for it, but then said 'hang on a sec'!

We skyped and instantly both realised it wasn't going to work.

I don't know what it was, but that spark just wasn't there. We had a nice chat online and I had the old 'dinner in the oven' get-out cue. Then we both wrote to each other saying that we would be great friends but didn't think it would work out otherwise.
Sad - but you just got to say it like it is.

So try to keep balanced about this. Not everything is going to work out and sometimes you need to hold back and take a reality check. Make sure you video chat or skype first, it could save you a long trip and a difficult conversation.

9. First Encounters

OK, this is it!

You have done all of the above, you can't wait to meet, you feel like a teenager again and have spent days trying on outfits.

You're going on a first date!!

Distance should not matter. We managed to move all the way from our home countries to find our Spainish dream. Worrying about travelling across part of Spain to find someone to share that dream with should never deter you.
Distance need not be a problem, it can even add to the fun; the anticipated arrival after a long drive, a weekend stopover or meeting up in a cute hotel midway between the two of you. See it as a positive way to add spice and fun to your life.

You've probably got a favourite location in mind. We are so lucky that there are many lovely areas of Spain to visit, finding somewhere you can both easily get to shouldn't be too difficult.

Lunch is probably the easiest option, unless they live nearby, in which case take your pick. I met up with a nice guy in our local cafe and brought my friend along just in case. She sat in the corner reading a newspaper! It wasn't necessary, but it was funny. I had a great time, it came to naught eventually but it was so exciting to have someone pay attention to me and go out exploring with.

The point is, it's not likely to happen straight away. You may be one of the lucky ones, but mostly it takes a lot of time. Enjoy the process, enjoy meeting new people, making friends, dressing up, exploring new places. Have fun.

It can be anxious if things don't go the way you want, but it is part of life, part of the journey we must all make. Having a relaxed attitude towards dating and meeting new people is what will make it work for you. Easy to say I know and we all risk a little heartbreak along the way. But the dream lies at the end of the journey and it truly does happen for so many people.
We don't know when, where or with whom - just be open to it and one day, everything will fall into place.


There are some things that also need to be said even though they mostly come under the heading of ‘the totally obvious’.
Apply common sense at ALL times. There are scammers and scoundrels on and off the net. If you met an interesting stranger in a bar you would proceed with caution. If you meet a stranger on the Internet proceed with the same caution, and then add some.

NEVER, NEVER, NEVER give money to strangers, no matter how wonderfully touching their tale of heroics and tragedy may be. If you have any problems or worries about this PLEASE DON’T DO IT. If someone is asking for money, tell a friend, talk it over and get a second opinion. If you want to write to us, please do, our reply will always be the same – DON’T DO IT.

We do monitor this site carefully, but it is impossible to guarantee we will find all the scammers and scoundrels, so beware and apply some simple common sense to any situation.

Think about the situation. Don’t do things you would warn others about. Don’t meet in dark, lonely locations, make sure someone knows where you are. Don’t give out your address, don’t go to someone’s house, don’t get in someone’s car.
Think SAFE and act accordingly.

I’m sorry if all this seems obvious and I’m sounding like a school teacher, but you’d be surprised what people do when caught up in all the excitement of a first date. Enjoy yourself, have a ball, but make sure these experiences are good and take appropriate precautions.

10. And finally...

This is a big country!
Make Spain seem smaller. If you are travelling the country get in touch with someone local from the site. They will know the local area and meeting for lunch, coffee or just a chat is a great way to break a journey. It won't take long to find friends all over Spain and sometimes friendship can turn to romance.

Take advantage of all the site has to offer.
Make friends, have fun with your profile, share your funny/interesting/silly/weird/prettiest photos.

Let yourself go a little and open up. Shine in your own lovely light!

Reach out, your next soul mate may be shy. Make it easy for them to find you.

NEVER give up. What do you have to lose in being on site. So your first encounter didn't work. Who cares, no-one's going to stop you achieving what you set your mind on. Just DO IT!

And when it has worked for you, please, please let me know. I will not share it with a soul unless you specifically state I can. But I would love to hear your story and wish you much good luck for the future.

If you have any issues you would like to discuss with us, or just a helping hand, please get in touch. We will do all we can, including checking out your profile to see if we can offer advice in any way.

We are always happy to help.

Angloinfo World: Expat Life Finding expat love – the online way!

February 24, 2016

Writtenby Katie May, expat and founder of the online dating sites Expat Dating France and Expat Dating Spain.

It’s a great thrill to set off to a new life abroad and all the more fun when shared.

For those who find themselves single, finding someone to share their lives with in their corner of the world is no longer a big challenge. Online dating is now firmly established and new companies are opening up to look after the expat market. I am the founder of one of them.

After 10 years living in France, my dear husband developed lung cancer and died fairly quickly. It left me in shock and with a very uncertain future. My French was ok but not up to dealing with the bureaucracy involved in the aftermath of a death.

Officials couldn’t have been kinder and they helped all they could, my family and friends rallied round and I made the painful transition to widowhood with their support. Nevertheless, I was traumatised and it took a couple of years to stabilise.

My finances were dire, I had to rent my house out to survive. Finding a job was nigh impossible in a country of high unemployment and my accounting qualifications weren’t recognised, plus at over 50, too old. Also I was beginning to feel that I would like to share my life again, but didn’t know how.

This is the point at which the dream turns very difficult and a few hard decisions have to be faced. Should I stay or go back to UK?

I opted to stay.

Friends made it possible; their daughter had just met a great guy on a dating site and told me to do the same. “Problems shared are problems half solved”, or something like that.

I had checked out a few French dating sites with hilarious results but no romance. It wasn’t just the language problems, it was the cultural differences.

I missed the silly English humour, the shared experiences of growing up in Britain and being in a foreign country, I knew why a ‘dead parrot’ was funny.

‘There isn’t a decent dating site for expats’ I told my friends, ‘so start one’ they replied.

So I did.

I had to sell my car to do it. Building a business anywhere requires a lot of capital. My friends became shareholders, as did another old friend who wanted to help out. Slowly the idea took off and we grew with the help of advertisers and word of mouth.

3 years on we have members all over France and have just opened in Spain. Financially we scrape by, everything goes back into the business, but I have employment and as we’ve expanded so do a few more people.

Romances are constantly bubbling away on site, couples have met, some have moved in together, some have married. Everybody benefits and it’s really fantastic when we hear success stories, like this one, our first wedding…

This is Jan and Mike’s story who married in September 2015. The story is in Jan’s own words.

The first email is dated April 2014.

“Dear Katie, I’ve found my lovely man at first attempt, although he had to persevere, waiting for me to join!

I saw your site advertised on Angloinfo Brittany and clicked on it out of curiosity.  After looking through several profiles found one that matched everything I’ve always looked for and admired in a man, so I joined and emailed him, which took a bit of courage on my part. I received an almost instant reply saying he’d already looked at my profile and was interested.  Emails, ‘phone calls and visits later, we’re busy trying to work out how we can be together permanently.

Having been widowed over 10 years ago after an extremely happy marriage, I never thought I would find someone else – but as they say in a certain well-known song ‘love is lovelier the second time around’!

 Jan caught up with me recently in 2015 to pass on the news….

“Mike and I married on the 19th September here in France at our local Mairie.  We had a wonderful day celebrating with friends and family from UK, French neighbours from where I lived in Brittany before moving to be with Mike, other local expats, and many French friends.  As you may remember from our earlier comments, it took Mike a few attempts before we found each other, but I hit the jackpot from the first contact!

Only advice I can offer is that if you don’t try you will never know if there’s someone out there waiting for you.

Not sure if we’re the first ‘marrieds’ thanks to you, but am sure we’re one of the happiest!

Just to let you know that flowers arrived this morning. Thank you so much, they are really lovely.”

We were all a bit emotional on reading their story.

Running a dating site lets me see romance from different sides. Those who succeed do so because they put effort into it. Like most things we do, the more we try, the better the outcome. Having a positive attitude works wonders and I see and hear time and again from those that do and those that don’t. All it takes to succeed is a few photos, a bit of blurb about yourself and the gumption to contact someone you like the look of. The reward can be a life time of happiness, so it seems pretty worthwhile!

I admire the ‘cheeky chappies’ who arrange their holidays dating in France and Spain. I admire the single people who join up to find true love in France before they arrive and those already here, trying to build their lives alone and searching for other like-minded souls. I admire anyone who positively tries to follow their dreams whatever the challenges they face. I come across many people like this on our website.

It has bought happiness to me too. The old friend who wanted to help out realised we meant more to each other than just being friends. We just married and I am now Mrs. Menuhin and very, very happy.

So dreams of adventure can come true. With adventure we risk adversity – we have to face that too. We can overcome it, there are always answers, we just keep on trying in that old British bulldog way of ours.

If you have a dream follow it and if you want to share it, that will happen too. The reward can be a life time of happiness so just keep on going till it does.

Written by Katie May, expat and founder of the online dating sites Expat Dating France and Expat Dating Spain.


Hey Katie,
I joined a couple of years back. I met a lot of new people and one special one.

When I first joined up I was only looking to meet people -
well ladies ....anyway for a bit of company and a laugh.

I moved to France in 2013 and started off with a van moving stuff up and down the country for anybody who asked. As I was travelling around I used to drop by and meet ladies from off the site.
Usually just for friends, getting to know people in what ever area I was in, it was a bit of fun ...and sometimes it was more than that and sometimes it wasn't.

Eventually I got close with Sue who lives near Beziers. We were seeing a lot of each other and having lots of fun going out dancing, bars and restaurants and having a great time.

I had also got to know Jackie who lived up near Cognac, she had an old farm house and kept dogs, cats, sheep, a donkey, chickens and all that stuff. I felt really at home when i stayed over there and would help fix the place up. There was a lot to do - she was trying to renovate but she had been left on her own, so she was struggling. I really enjoyed all that stuff and she appreciated it too.

For quite a long time I would drop in on either Sue or Jackie whenever i was travelling near them. Truth be told I looked for jobs that would take me close by.

Then one night I had to leave my van at Sue's for the weekend and fly to UK. When i got back all hell let loose. Sue found out about Jackie, had got mad at me, contacted jackie, then they both got mad at me. I must have left something in the van and Sue found it.

The thing is, I never started off looking for anything serious, I just drifted into it, ....seeing both of them.

I saw it differently than they did. To me, I hadn't said i was commited, exclusive or anything. not even that i was their boyfriend.

Anyway, after a few angry emails, neither of them spoke to me.

Then after a while, Sue calmed down and wrote to me, she'd found another fella and was feeling guilty about Jackie. I didn't think she should have said anything to Jackie either, but that's water under the bridge and all that. What's done was done.

Although I'd had a lot of fun with Sue, I knew it was only that and we wouldn't get serious or anything. I said to her it was Ok and wished her luck.....

Jackie was always different. She was quieter, much calmer and I had sort of felt that maybe i could settle down with her. She was a lot different than my usual girl friends.
She also took things more seriously. I knew from the couple of emails she had sent me: that she felt betrayed, said she couldn't trust me and didn't want to have anything else to do with me. Nothing I tried to say or wrote made her see it any other way either.

After that, I let things go for a long time, but .....when ever I was near her place I'd think about her. I guess I missed her.

Then one day I just thought I would go and see her. There was nothing to lose, she was mad at me anyway, worse that could happen is she told me to get lost.

So i went and she tried to be angry but she wasn't.
I took her a bag of chicken feed, because I'd always talked to the chickens and collected the eggs when I was there. She laughed when i gave it to her.

Since then we've been together - that's about the best part of a year now. I try not to travel so much and we've done up her place now. feels like home, the first real place that's felt like home in a long time. I hope it stays like this, we are really happy.

Hope you're doing good too.
Saw your photo, you're a real looker!


Dear Katie,

I joined ages ago. Quite a few men contacted me but they didn't seem right for one reason or another and I let it drift for a while.

Just after the new year, that was 2015, I got an email from one of the men who had messaged me before. I was a bit low so I took a bit more notice of it. His name was Mike, he was coming near my area and asked if I fancied meeting for coffee or lunch or something. Anyway, I thought why not and said ok. It cheered me up and before he came we got chatting online quite a bit. We had a good laugh together, we both liked the same TV and remembered stuff from back in England when we lived there. He even knew the town I had come from near Boston.

So when we finally met for lunch I was really nervous, thinking it would be a disaster if we didn't like each other after all that. But we did! I was so surprised, I hadn't really believed I would meet anyone again. After that we became firm friends and it wasn't long before we were getting together for weekends. I was so happy.

Then he stopped calling. I was frantic, thinking he had an accident or something. Finally I got hold of him. His ex had been to see him and she wanted to give it another try. I was so shocked. I knew he was divorced, so why go back again? Divorce is a long messy horrible business, I've been through it myself and couldn't imagine getting back with my ex husband. I just found it so hard to understand what was going on and so terribly hurt.

My daughter Lucy came to stay during all this and helped me get myself back together again. She was adamantly against Mike because she saw first hand what I had been put through. Then he got back in touch. He had missed me, said he'd tried to make it work with his ex wife but had never thought it would work out, nor did it. I told him it was too late. Lucy was a lot more forthright and told him to get lost.

I work as a translator and got more involved in work, helping out at the local school too just to keep busy. Lucy had to go back to UK and earn some money. Much as I tried to get a new life together, it wasn't working. In the end I got in touch with Mike. I know I shouldn't have done but I knew we could be good together if we tried. I needed to hear what he thought.

So we started talking again. He was on his own and it didn't take long for us to pick up from before. Lucy was livid when I told her, she said I was to stop being stupid and I couldn't trust him. For a while she wouldn't speak to me or if she did it was to yell at me. It was a very hard time but I didn't want to let Mike go, nor give up the happiness I had found. I had been lonely for too long.

Lucy came back to stay with me after the summer. She knew I was still seeing Mike and she was intending to make me see sense. I picked her up at the airport, she was very angry but tried to stay calm. After a very tense few days we had a terrible row and she walked out. It seemed like I was going to have to make a choice between my daughter and Mike. Lucy was my family, my loved and only child. I know I had spoiled her, especially when her father and I had split up. I could not lose her, but I was heartbroken about giving up Mike.

She came home later, I could see she had been crying and I burst out in tears too. She didn't want to see me unhappy but thought I was being an idiot. I think she would have carried on arguing with me but we were both too emotionally exhausted. The next day I asked Mike to come over. I thought it would help and I was right, once she saw how gentle and loving he was toward me she calmed down.

It wasn't all plain sailing afterwards but it has got easier. I think Lucy would prefer to have me to herself and that's really the crux of it. But we are so happy and I know she will find the same happiness herself one day, then she will understand.

I hope I haven't rambled too much. Keep well and God Bless.

Hey Katie May,

Heard you on the radio and thought I would drop you a line about a funny thing that happened to me on expat dating in France.
I joined last year and got chatting to a few ladies. I was still in England selling up my house before hopping on the ferry to move out here for good.
One lady was a funny one, she told me about her holidays and how good they made her feel, then sent me some photos. She wasn't wearing a stitch in any of them. I thought - well here's a good sport, might just go and see her.

So she invited me to join her on her next holiday, seems she went to the same place most times, it was like a club. Well it never occurred to me that it was some of nudist getup.
She met me at the airport and we went down to Sete, or I think that's what it was called. Got to this place down a track and went into a sort of cabin. I was filling in forms at the desk, I turned round to ask her some thing and blow me she was standing there without a thing on. Just shoving her clothes into a locker. Then in comes another lady and starts chatting and she didn't have anything on either. Well you could have knocked me down with a feather..

Long and short of it was I had to strip off too and felt a proper fool walking around with all those nudies.
There was a BBQ starting up, so we went there and watching these guys flipping burgers in the nude didn't do a thing for my appetite. There were some pretty ropey looking old girls too and when they leaned over the table to pass the butter it was a right rare sight. I held onto my napkin for as long as I could but then the disco started up and we went to this dance floor in a marquee and I was feeling pretty exposed.

I jigged around with my lady friend, then things really hotted up and most people were dancing away. There weren't many spring chickens among them and I was thinking I might escape to the bar when up comes this big old bird with a Brazilian. She was shaking it for all she'd got and i made a dash for it before I got beat to death with the flying bazookas.

I made it to the bar but all those back sides overflowing the barstools were the end of it for me. Took myself off to my cabin and next day I got up early, called a taxi and took the next flight home.
I've got nothing against nudists, each to their own, but it's definitely not my cup of tea. Don't think it's an experience I'll forget in a hurry!

I did move over to france and decided on Brittany, reckon the south is a bit too racy for me.
I met someone else on your site too, we're doing really well and she keeps her clothes on most of the times, or at the proper times anyway.

cheers, Katie. Hope you're having a great one!

admin Jun 8 '16 · Comments: 2 · Tags: dating, expat, spain, relationships, romance, france, love
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